


Bringing Home Strays

by SnakeyElf



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Suicide Squad (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (Tagging for just in case :D), Cute Harleen Quinzel, F/M, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Not Clint Barton Friendly, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Rare Pairings, Two Shot, flustered Tony Stark, unless...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 16:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnakeyElf/pseuds/SnakeyElf
Summary: DC Suicide Squad and MCU Avengers mashup, Thor and Bruce aren't included for lazy reasons and i did not write a fight scene, this is an excuse to get Harley to move in with Tony :) Don't expect it to be good.





	1. Chapter 1

"Stark, go ahead and scout," Steve says into the comm, only just avoiding tripping over a body "Let us know what's happening."

"You got it, Capsicle!" Tony activates the boosters, flying round the corner and scanning the toppled cars and empty buildings, before seeing the ring of floating debris, which distracts him from the long glowing vine that grabs his ankle "Fucking shit! Cap- FUCK FUCK-"

"Of course he gets into trouble, if he actually listened..." Clint groans in annoyance, trailing off at the end of his sentence with a voice of 'if only'

Harley sends a look of confusion to Deadshot, tilting her head to one side at Clints tone of voice

Deadshot just shrugs, continuing forward with the rest of them

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{WITH TONY }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} <strike>**(< i'm sorry)**</strike>

Tony stares at the beam of light shooting into the sky. And continues to stare, ignoring Enchantress and her brother, the former is staring at him with amusement, the latter glaring at him in anger

"What the fuck is with magic and giant pillars of energy? Honestly, it seems kinda impractical. 'I'm about to take over the world, but here's my exact location, come stop me.'"

Enchantress laughs, moving forward and pulling Tony towards the beam, ignoring his half-hearted struggles and when he's only a few paces away, she presses agains his back, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him in place

"Does it not shine?" She whispers in a voice of smug satisfaction "Is it not beautiful?"

"I mean, it's helping you destroy my planet but yeah, i guess it's kinda cool...?"

Tony shrugs, really wishing that Bruce, Thor and Loki were here to help, his armour in a pile on the floor and the magic in the air interfering with the Nano-Bots under his skin.

Enchantress chuckles, and then it all goes to hell


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, still small :)
> 
> If you wanna see the fight scene, watch suicide squad and avengers at the same time, and then ignore Thor and the Hulk
> 
> Yes i know i'm not good at jokes

Tony pants, leaning against the stairs, next to the hole the Enchantress is lying in

"Jesus, what the fuck was she made of, Vibranium?!" Clint gasps, lying on the floor, his bow by his side "I just- Ugh."

Tony shrugs, his armour creaking ominously "I don't know but she totalled my armour, J, send Mark 30 to pick it up, please."

"Of course, Sir," Jarvis says, letting the armour fall away from Tony "Will you be riding in the Quinjet with the others or going straight to Malibu?"

"Malibu, thanks."

Dr Moon gasps, ripping the caked mud off her face "She's gone, I don't hear her anymore!"

She immediately collapses into her soldiers arms, unconscious

"Does that mean i get my Espresso machine?" Harley grins, twirling her hair

Tony laughs, waving at the suit coming to pick up the remains of the armour

"Er..." Tony looks down, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck before gesturing to the Avengers "Okay, so, I'll get this sorted, You guys can go back to the tower, I'll see you when i get back."

Steve nods, motioning for the Avengers to follow him to Quinjet

"Aw, do ya have to go?" Harley whines, leaning on Tonys shoulder "You're the only funny one!"

Tony coughs, ignoring the compliment, smirking to cover it up "Well, considering the fact I've paid off the government to bring you all with me, i don't know why you're complaining!"

Deadshot raises both eyebrows "Really?"

"Yeah, well, mostly."

"Mostly?" Harley immediatly changes from happy to suspicious

"Mostly meaning 'Deadshot isn't coming to live with me, he's getting his own apartment and having a twice a week visit with his daughter.'"

Deadshot breathes in quickly

Tony turns to the unconscious Dr Moon and her boyfriend, Flag, with his 'If you don't agree i'll ruin your lives' smile "As far as you know, they're dead, right?"

Dickhead nods

"Cool!"

"Sir, the car to take you to the airport is here, i asked them to ready two more seats and meals."

"Thanks J." Tony grins, letting Harley grab his hand and drag him to the car "Happy, give Deadshot the keys and address to his new apartment please!"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Later}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tony spread his arms, showing off the Malibu mansion "Welcome to Malibu!"

"Aw shucks, this is too much!" Harley giggles, giving Tony one of the biggest hugs he's ever had "You shouldn't have! Has it got a pool?!"

"Well duh! I don't use it much, but it's all yours."

A figure in green chooses this moment to come out of the front door

"Anthony? You really must stop bringing strays home." Loki sighs, waving at Harley

"Shut your mouth, you're as bad as i am!" Tony snaps back, fondly vicious "Anyway, She's not a stray, She's the newest member of the house: Harley Quinn!"

"Ah, so you've developed from bringing strays home to bringing villains home and somehow helping them with the power of your charm?"

"I said shut up."

"You actually said 'Shut your mouth'."

Harley giggles

**Author's Note:**

> Split into 2 chapters so i don't have to rewrite the suicide squad fightscene with the avengers. It goes about the same, except more people get punched in the face (Bruce and Thor aren't there, Loki isn't in the fight)
> 
> The second chapter is just as small as the first XD


End file.
